pregnancy loss, single mom by choice, SMC

bad news

We started the ultrasound and I could see right away on the screen that the sac hadn’t progressed since 2 weeks ago.

I’ll miscarry this one.

The two weeks of emotional roller coaster helped prepare me to some extent but obviously this is big and awfully sad. This happened an hour ago. Kleenex still conveniently on the dining room table next to me from 8.5 weeks ago during the chemical pregnancy tears. This process is beating me up…the time, money, emotional wear and tear. But I did wake up this morning with “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger” in my head (no joke).

I wish I had better news today and, again, I am so sorry for dragging all of you along. I wish I could do this quietly but I’m not sure I’m capable of it. I do have faith that my body and the beginning of a baby knew what was best. This is what they’re talking about when they say it’s harder to get pregnant when you’re older. This is reality.

Taking inventory and crying it out. Love you guys. Thanks so much to all who believed in this one with and for me… my uber-supportive parents, and sweet A who came with me to the appointment. xo


6 thoughts on “bad news”

  1. We so love and admire you, your inspiration and determination. We’re with you and know that you have all our warmth, spirit and love every step of the way. You are stronger and ready for anything that is hurled or gifted your way. The Wolfs

  2. OK. Animation no longer suspended. Clear news allows some healing to begin and the womb to clean out and make space for new life in the next round. Talk about a two-week wait! This was 2×2! What does your body need to do make a new home and when can/will you want to start the next leg of the journey?



  3. katie— i was gone this weekend and hopped on my computer right when i got home so hopeful to read good news from you… i am so desperately sorry! i know this is going to be very difficult to move through, but from the little i know of you, i know that you can do it. i will be thinking of you, as will all the SMC’s… take care, surround yourself in those things and people that make you feel warmth and hope… peace, hilary

  4. I am so sorry. I know you were hoping for better news. I hope this one ends as painlessly as possible for you. (I’m an IUI patient at the same clinic. One more week until I take my test post IUI #2.)

    1. So sorry to read this difficult news. You are so brave for persevering and for sharing. Hope you are finding plenty of ways to take care of yourself. Please know I’m thinking of you and wishing for happier news in the future. Big hug, Johanna

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s