OK! Solo mom of two status does keep me from my blog as it turns out. Baby C is 6 weeks old and I have a new daily routine after a life coach-y call with my sister B: when I get home from dropping off E at school, I: 1) shower, 2) make dinner, 3) write for at least five minutes. Some days, it may take the whole day to get through this to-do list, and lots of things can and do happen between 1, 2, and 3, but this gives me just enough structure to feel like I’m getting the critical stuff done, taking care of myself, and getting a teensy bit of creative time. I feel like I had to get through all my bills and thank you cards and meal planning and etc. etc. to get here, and if writing isn’t to be last, I need to make it first. So, here I am. You should see the Mount Everest of clean laundry piled on the guest bed (4-5 loads) that needs folding.
Overall, we are doing very well! After my parents were with us for six incredibly appreciated weeks of help and support (making dinner, cleaning up, entertaining E, grocery shopping, organizing, etc. etc.), they took off for Arizona about three weeks ago. My true jumping-off point into solo parenting two. I dreaded it. I cried for a day. But then we just picked up and kept going and it’s really been fine. It’s basically like we continued with E’s routine only we have a little person who slows us down a lot.
Baby C is doing a good job: eating, sleeping, gaining weight, starting to hold up her head (which is a tall order since she is in the 99th percentile for head circumference), giving us explosive happy smiles on a more and more frequent basis. Sometimes I think I had the same baby again, her temperament is so much like E. E adores his baby sister, is so proud of her when I bring her into his school for pickups and dropoffs, likes to “play” with her and give her kisses. He’s also such a great helper- bringing me my water bottle, finding my phone, and answering the door- all things I (geniusly) trained him to do before C was born. I’m terrified of him feeling jealous or replaced, which would be altogether natural, but this goes into the category of not wanting one’s child to feel any pain in life (unrealistic)… I set the baby down last night on E’s side of the bed and he was indignantly like, “That’s my spot.” And I nervously was like “Oh, I just set her there until I can move over and put her on her side.” He’s rarely made comments in such a direct way. I know he’s managing some feelings about everything but, so far, he’s doing it courageously and with minimal disruption. Amazing. I am so lucky. I am so so so lucky.
I’ve done so much googling since the baby was born (despite this being my second go-round) that I felt it could be a good way to update you on what’s been happening around here. I just looked through my phone to see all the open browser windows from the last several weeks and here’s what I found:
britax infant car seat compatible stroller: OMG, figuring out the gear is still challenging even though I have 80% of it figured out from when E was a baby. My work colleagues generously gave me a new Britax infant car seat. I posted on a mom’s resale FB page that I needed a Snap N Go, which I thought was universal, but I got so many questions back about what it’s compatible with that I started googling what strollers are compatible with my specific model of car seat… and, blessedly, my SMC friend K saw my post and lent me her stroller which is also Britax and the car seat clicks in so simply and easily! Of course, just getting the stroller open and closed has required me standing next to my car for long, self-conscious minutes, looking all over the stroller for the magic button. But I’ve got it now.
costco magnatiles: This is from before xmas. E wanted a Maui hook (you’ll know what that is if you’ve seen Moana, which we’ve watched around 25 times), Magnatiles (shockingly expensive but awesome), and a porcelain bell Christmas ornament (we had one that he broke by accident). I ended up getting the Magnatiles at Target, the hook from amazon, and I never did find a bell. Maybe next year.
10 satisfying solutions that will unplug your baby’s nose: Baby C has been stuffed up since she was 2 weeks old. At first it was alarming as it sounded like she actually couldn’t breathe, since babies are nose-breathers. It’s unclear whether she’s just stuffy or actually reacting to a bug but I think it’s the former because she hasn’t had any other signs of being sick. The ped says that she just needs to grow so her airways get bigger. Poor thing. Meanwhile, I’ve discovered the magic of saline spray (she welcomes it now because she knows it feels better) and only use the Nosefrida when her nose is actually running. We also spend some time in the steamy bathroom.
treatment for infected stitches: I thought I might have an infection coming on somewhere in my undercarriage which turned into itchiness which is, very frustratingly, still unresolved. I was treated for a yeast infection (course of two pills), and it hasn’t gone away. I have yet another midwife appointment this afternoon but it’s definitely not a stitches infection because there’s no pain and a previous midwife appointment confirmed the healing is fine. Just aggravating itch. Baking soda baths seem to help. I will report back.
researchers propose “breastsleeping” as a new word and concept: I had to regain my confidence in cosleeping after all the doctors and nurses and our pediatrician stated and restated the dangers, so I read up on the recommendations and research. It’s different now with two kiddos but we’re now in a sweet groove. E has begun transitioning to his own bed, which is at the foot of my bed. I’m selling this as “one big bed” while encouraging him to sleep where he wants. When he does go in his bed, it gives me so much more real estate! But he’s more likely to feel scared and takes longer to fall asleep. When E is next to me, I stay between them and everything is set up safely. C and I have a fabulous “breastsleeping” relationship. We barely wake for feedings. In the morning, love waking up to her peaceful, tiny little face somewhere below my arm pit. We’re all getting plenty of sleep, minus when the baby isn’t on board for bedtime and we have to wait until she’s done squawking.
folded method moby newborn: The Moby wrap is so sweet for newborns. It’s also not that easy, at least for me. I was looking for videos on how to do the wrap. I can do it but it’s slightly different each time, sometimes the baby is melting down, down, down. It sure takes a long time to get it on when said baby is screaming her head off. I’m transitioning more to the Ergo, which I love.
Bedtime for Frances movie review: E has been getting a little more screen time while I get the baby thing figured out (but not too much!) and I try to look up shows and movies on Common Sense Media to see a review and whether it’s age-appropriate. I learned this lesson after showing him Lion King and totally forgetting how scary and dark that story is (he did fine since it was over his head). Sometimes I do the research to find the perfect show and it’s not available without a purchase, as I think was true for Bedtime for Frances, so we skip it.
Order changes- instacart: After a great experience in SF with Amazon Fresh, I’ve started up grocery delivery again! I paid the annual fee for Instacart which gets me deliveries from Costco, Pete’s Fresh Market, Whole Foods, CVS, etc. All the prices are jacked up on the Instacart site, plus tip, but, overall, what a miracle to get groceries within 1-2 hours of placing the order without having to step into frigid temperatures (not to mention with 1-2 kids)!
unique birth announcements: I started trying to find a birth announcement format I like and just hated them all so I decided it was too early and postponed this by several months. Hoping I’ll actually do it!
crusty goopy eye: Another joyous newborn health issue in addition to nonstop congestion is the goopy eye. Again, the eye drainage system is too small to handle all the tears so it builds up and crusts over on the eyes. Some days, I had to constantly wipe her eyes with a warm washcloth just to keep her eyes open. I also put breastmilk on both eyes regularly, which is the only remedy I’ve heard about (other than, again, waiting for the tear ducts to grow with the baby). This has improved in recent days!
How to get rid of lice: Yeah, E got lice. Ugh. I think we caught it early- did the treatment and the combing and we’re still combing this week. I didn’t get them, nor did the baby. I did a bunch of laundry. Fingers crossed we caught everything and it doesn’t turn into a bigger deal. I never said the word “lice” to E, just asked about itchiness, and he loves to get combed because he can watch a video. (He is currently super into “Sid the Science Kid.”
princess margaret, countess of snowdon: I watched the two available seasons of The Crown- so great. I still have the second season finale to watch. Fascinating. So well acted and filmed. I keep googling what really happened and it seems like the show doesn’t wildly divert from history. I’ll need another show soon and went back and watched the pilot of The West Wing- could easily fall into a WW binge although I’ve already watched the whole thing.
egift card for Grub Hub: A group of college friends put a bunch of money into Grub Hub for me and lots of (mostly SMC) friends have come by with food or placed an order for delivery- amazing. My friend K made a little extra every time she cooked for her family under she had around ten frozen tupperwares to add to my freezer. So very helpful. And, on the subject of helpers, my nieces have been coming over for individual “C time” as they learn about how to care for a baby (they are 6 and 9). They can hold her or entertain her while I take out the trash and fold laundry. Amazing. I know I’ll blink and they’ll be babysitting. I feel so lucky these kids get to grow up together.
All for now as C is squeaking. A few photos for you. Thanks for all the sweet notes, some of which I didn’t even respond to, gah! Morer soon, lots of love and happy 2018 ❤ ❤ ❤
the solo mama project 