I’m on the flight to Philly with 8 minutes before my laptop battery is out of juice, so this will be a stream of consciousness post as long as I manage to hit “Publish” before the last second.
I don’t know quite exactly how to write about the last 48 hours except to say that despite lack of sleep, frenetic prepping for the trip, and tons of errands, I left SF rested and peaceful feeling on top of everything.
The Moroccan insisted on driving me to the airport at the crack of dawn. We left later than I meant to and then flew threw the streets of the Mission as the sun rose in pink streaks across the Eastern sky.
I’ve spent a lot of time with him over the past couple of days. Again, leaving feels better than it did in the past, gives me a chance to be me and do my thing.
In “Wild” she talks about how on the trail, being alone became almost a place where she could go. A place she needed to go. That resonates with me right now. The impulse to merge with him is there but so is my self-awareness of what is truly good for me.
I woke from a dream where I was holding a tiny, sick baby in the hospital–not mine, someone else’s baby who needed holding–and giving her so much love…to find him sleeping next to me.
My therapist says I’m doing “a very good job of dating mindfully.”
I’ll be at a conference w/ limited time so I’ll check back in around the weekend. Love to everyone I’m flying over today xo