Day 25

Remember how I said we’d be like, “oh, has it been a month already?” Well, that was almost a month ago!

I kind of blinked at my chart this morning when I realized it’s already Day 25. My temp did a really nice rise, and rise, and rise after the day of the IUI and has leveled out in my upper ranges. The first week was so easy and blissful, truly. I was so on to those fakey-fake symptoms that they didn’t even appear. Such a great illustration of how much of our physical reality is only in our minds.

Week 2 commenced on Tuesday and the symptoms have come on like gangbusters. There’s something about knowing that, if the thing is in there, it may have implanted on the uterine wall, and that this precarious little teensy thing barely the width of your fingernail might be holding on for dear life and cell-dividing like a mofo…that makes you love it, just a little bit. And as soon as you love it, you’re toast.

I decided this time that rather than list off the symptoms when people look at me meaningfully and say, “how are you feeling?”, instead I would just keep a list in my wallet. This way, I am acknowledging the symptoms are happening (sort-of/maybe) but then I’m putting them away. I’m not getting anyone’s hopes up by listing lots of TMI pregnancy indicators. And if and when I get pregs, I will know which symptoms were real. And then I will win.

As the administrator of this blog, I can see how many hits I get per day, in fact there is a bar graph right below this box I’m writing in. I kid you not: the bar graph totally matches my cycle. My audience checks in around ovulation and during the suspenseful final days. It was totally predictable and yet makes me laugh. I’m going to add “blog views” to my charts where I track my temp and other gory things I won’t list here. Someday, when I have a surplus of free time (i.e. never), I will post a graph that shows the cause and effect relationship of my menstrual cycle and my blog’s popularity, like those graphs in econ books with the hemlines of skirts and the GNP.

A quick note about blog comments: everyone responds in their own way or not at all. After a blog post, I get an email, a text, a phone call, and a post on my facebook wall offering me a virtual trophy. Some friends have apologized for not commenting, or not being able to figure out how to comment. It is ALL good. I know you’re out there, one way or another. Thanks so much for reading my blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have some meaty topics I’m saving up for Mothers Day weekend which, for obvious reasons, is already getting me choked up this year. I’m more appreciative than ever of my own Mom (who got a very fancy gift from her three daughters today!!!) and all my mom friends who are just unbelievable, inspiring women. My friend S is posting hilarious mom quotes all week on facebook, and my favorite was from The Golden Girls: “It’s not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it.”

As a final note for tonight because I have to go eat my late dinner of salmon and asparagus and my new staple drink of lemon or lime and soda water, I have to acknowledge our dear Obama for his newly unequivocal support of marriage equality!! YES! I gave money today to his campaign with more hope than I’ve felt since I worked on his campaign the first time around. (Imagine if someone had told you 5 years ago that we’d have a black President supporting gay marriage, you’d be like uhhh wha?) It’s all about the love. I am solidly in the pro-love camp. I will never flip-flop on that.

OK, gird up your loins, people! We are in the final countdown. Good night