single mom by choice, SMC, trying to conceive, ttc, two week wait


Since my last post, I have taken it easy, resting my poor body from whatever assault it suffered last week and helping it quickly shift gears to be prepared to welcome a moon landing.

It’s not easy for me to rest, ultimately. When I’m running around with back-to-back activities, nothing sounds better than laying on the couch with a book. But, when I’m laying on the couch with a book, I feel like I’m supposed to be doing something else.

On Sunday night, after a mellow trip down to San Jose to visit L and her munchkins, I took an afternoon nap and settled in for the evening, with a nagging feeling that I really shouldn’t miss the festivities for the 75th birthday of the Golden Gate Bridge. When the thundering fireworks started up, I went up to the roof but couldn’t see over Alamo Square beyond muted bursts of color on the horizon. Well, here’s what I missed:

SIGH! Suffice to say, everyone is saying it was the most awesome fireworks show EVAR. Tonight I was waiting for a friend outside a restaurant and overheard a group of guys walking in–one said, “You’re saying we missed an important cultural event?” and the other said, “Yes. I don’t even like fireworks, and it was the most awesome fireworks evar.”

On the bright side, I did get over my hives and have an SMC brunch and a fun dinner date and eventually got my laundry folded. My temp went up this morning (and, with that, I am done taking my temp for this month).

Today was a maximum mental health day that included therapy, pre-implantation acpuncture, meditation, and a dharma talk. Howie, our teacher, was sleepy from being up early on the east coast and traveling all day, so he focused on rest as a topic; mostly in the sense of giving your brain a rest (i.e. meditation). He returned again and again to this poem throughout his talk:

Rest in natural great peace this exhausted mind,
Beaten helpless by karma and neurotic thoughts
Like the relentless fury of the pounding waves
In the infinite ocean of samsara.
Rest in natural great peace.

~Nyoshul Khen Rinpoche

good night


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