biological clock, pregnancy, single mom by choice, SMC

today in a little more detail

The universe smiled on me by sending my gay bf in from NYC precisely when I needed him, again. If you’ll remember, last month he was here for the good news, the test, and the bad news. This month, he flew in on the same Delta flight on Sunday afternoon, I picked him up, and I said, “Let’s try this again.”

Somehow the gods and goddesses are coordinating his itinerary with my biological clock.

Yet again, he sat with me in the waiting room at the lab. I was called in by Nataliya (noting the “natal” in her name), an older Russian woman with a sweet manner and lots of smiles. I told her I was hoping for a good result, and she said, “God bless you. One woman came back here, she told me I was her luck.” I said, “Well, I hope you’re my luck too!” and she said, “God bless you,” again. This type of exchange never hurts.

After leaving the lab, we passed a pregnant lady on the street. I told J that I think it’s good luck, and after that we saw 7 other pregnant ladies. On the drive in to the office, a long, powder-blue 80’s-era powder-blue stationwagon nearly pulled into my path but stopped. I decided long ago, for mysterious reasons, that this exact car was a sign of good luck, and there it was.

I got through the morning, distracted, and around 1pm I went to lunch w/ J. (Did I mention we work together?) While sitting outside eating salads in the momentary sunshine between bouts of fog, I checked my phone and saw that Olga had called. She took forever to get to the punch line! Silly Olga! In the end, it was positive. A positive test! I pumped my fist in the air uncharacteristically. We called my mom.

Again, got through the work afternoon (it’s weird how you can just go into work mode as if nothing is different and then it keeps hitting you like a bolt of lightning), went to work out with my trainer/life coach, and ended up back on the phone w/ J on the way home. I said, “Thanks again for coming with me today, it really means a lot to me.” He said, “Sweetie, it’s only $300 round trip. I’ll be back when you’re looking for apartments, when you’re moving, when you’re shopping for clothes, for Valentine’s Day…” Could this man be any more of an angel? He’s coming with me to the blood draw on Wednesday morning as well. Fingers crossed for a doubling.

On Sunday, while spacing out at my kitchen table, I noticed some crumbs I hadn’t wiped up before heading out on vacation. Then I noticed there was a poppy seed. And a sesame seed. And a caraway seed. I lined them all up on my grocery list to show you the scale of my developing pod–seemed like another wild coincidence that these three (and almost nothing else) would be hanging out in my line of vision.

Grateful and hopeful for these next steps of development from my current early early status of 4 weeks and 4 days.Image


3 thoughts on “today in a little more detail”

  1. Love this.
    Love ALLLLL of this!
    My faves are J and his willingness to cross the country repeatedly for you. So wonderfully amazing and reassuring and…perfecto.
    Fave of all faves: finding those three seeds on your countertop.
    Um…what?!?!? That is too crazy. And too coincidental. And perfect as well.
    (P.S. love that you are getting frozen smoothie fruit! Yum! I put chia seeds in mine the next day and it was so good. I’m addicted. Put them on your list, too. Full of antioxidants!)
    xoxo, Mama Jeanne!

  2. Great to read all this. I have to say, Olga (and people like her) has become a character in my life. You are handling her SO much better than I would. I just think it is crucial to reassure people and frame news gracefully and directly, and with the key details up front. This might seem like a minor detail in the big picture, but if you can handle the Olgas, you’ll be able to handle all kinds of news throughout this journey.

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