“Not pregnant”…is what the stick says. It’s really early in the morning and I am exhausted but I don’t feel anything really, just feel stunned. I always try to prepare for the negative (and the positive) but sometimes you just think you know. And I’ve never gotten to the point of testing (14dpo) w/o getting a positive test.
A is also up this early, so I walked down the hallway to whisper, “I’m not pregnant.” Without missing a beat, she said “yet.” (She tested negative at 14dpo when she was pregnant with her daughter–positive 3 days later.)
Man. I’m running on little sleep and have more presentations today. Back to coffee. But I’ll hold out a sliver of hope until AF arrives.
Since I wrote that, I sat here for a minute and the sliver of hope melted a little.This happens, and then I feel like I need to change something major. Cutting bangs didn’t really do the trick. I feel like I keep doing the same thing, expecting a different outcome–the definition of insanity AND ttc.
I bought up the rest of McPiercy’s inventory last week, so I do have a faint memory of being committed to this for the long haul.
Until AF arrives (or a miracle late positive test), I can’t really get on with it. Meanwhile, I have business trip just about 16 days from now that has to be at least 36 hrs. So there are some uncertainties about #9.
Wishing I could just go back to bed but here I go: must keep moving forward. More when I am not so out of it.
9 thoughts on “two words”
Sent you a text.
Sending love to you…
Really disappointing, but not yet definitive.
Hard to manage the sliver of hope in the interim.
I’m sending you hope for a peaceful heart, no matter what happens in the next few days. xxx
I’m so sorry. So very sorry.
😦 for this time. Let yourself feel whatever you feel. And then, the next day, march onwards. This will happen. I see bab(ies) in your near future.
This was me off my work computer, BTW. Still thinking of you….
There’s still hope. And if not, sounds to me like maybe you should take next month off, give yourself a break and time to plan. McPiercy will wait! Thinking of you over this side of the world.
I hate that almost-definitely-no-but-not-quite time. Hoping for good news for you in the near future.